Picture this: the two of you have fought about the way the clothes are folded again, and a while ago, you were just arguing about who got to hold the remote control. The fighting only stops when you go to bed. The next day rolls around, and as soon as you open the fridge to prepare breakfast, the sight of water pitchers that have not been refilled sparks yet another heated discussion.
It’s fine if this occasionally happens, but if this is how your daily life goes, something’s not right. Acknowledging that a problem exists is the first step toward healing. Realizing that you need help can be terrifying at first, but it can also lead to a rewarding experience and a healthy relationship with your partner.
Give counseling a try
If you and your partner are having trouble with sorting things out on your own, you might want to undergo therapy. If you want to give it a try, look for licensed therapists in nearby areas such as South Jordan. Couples therapy, also known as marriage counseling, is a type of psychotherapy. It usually involves both partners, but in case your partner is not comfortable with seeking help, you may also go to therapy alone.
It is usually short-term. The time frame ranges from a handful of sessions to several months. It varies for each situation. Keep in mind that you may encounter difficulties when it comes to opening up to the counselor about marital problems. At times, you may find yourselves arguing or even having a shouting match. That is fine. The therapist may act as a referee. A neutral third party can help you pinpoint underlying unmet needs in the relationship and help process both of your feelings afterward.
Here are some marital issues that can potentially be sorted out during therapy:
There is more than one way to be unfaithful to your partner. If you regularly find yourself hiding purchases from the love of your life, just like Astrid from Crazy Rich Asians, then there may be something wrong, especially if you are spending way beyond your means. Or maybe one of you feels the need to control every aspect of the finances. Address the issue by having an open conversation about the family’s financial situation. Take a moment to discuss money matters such as monthly expenses and debts.
Problems in the bedroom
It is normal not to be as intimate as when you first got married, but if there has been a significant lack of physical intimacy for a long time, something is not right. You need to take a look at possible causes. Maybe one or both of you have been struggling with body image issues, or maybe it has something to do with a lack of emotional connection.
According to a 2015 study conducted at the University of Toronto Mississauga, being intimate in bed once a week is necessary to maintain a healthy relationship. The researchers also discovered that post-sex affection (affectionate talk or cuddling) is important for the maintenance of relationship satisfaction, especially for partners who have kids. The participants’ responses indicated that they spent an average of 15 minutes for post-sex cuddling.
Being in an inharmonious relationship may feel hopeless. Fortunately, there are proven remedies such as counseling. According to data from the American Psychological Association, the success rate of couples therapy is approximately 75%. The bulk of the remaining 25% is composed of those in abusive relationships and those who are already in the process of separation. So if it feels like you’re at your wit’s end at trying to make the relationship work, consider seeking professional help.